Wisconsin's got a strange chip on its shoulder
7022-27

Taken on 15 June 2008 in Madison, Wisconsin.

Current Location: Arlington, Virginia

Good Lord.

Current Location: Washington, DC
Current Mood: satisfied

I had a longish talk with one of my closest friends last night. It was one of our typical talks that ran a huge gamut of topics, but we mostly talked about our perceptions of high school. He saw himself really quite differently from how I saw him back then: he was the guy that almost everyone liked, no matter who the crowd around him was. Instead of defining himself as popular, he defines himself as non-offensive, something I didn't understand at first. Then it hit me: my friend can in fact be one of the most offensive people I know -- he made a joke about 9/11 on 9/11. (I chalk it up to shock, not complete inhumanity.) His joking offensiveness is charming, so he gets away with it pretty often. So the fact that he defines his time in high school as a time when he in fact achieved non-offensiveness made more sense on reflection.

Our ten year high school reunion is this year. I can't believe that it's been 10 years since I walked off that campus in San Jose, occasionally returning in the first few years to see faculty. My mentor (the equivalent of a home room teacher, but someone I went on a retreat with... so not exactly the same thing) died quite suddenly when I was a freshman at Berkeley. I still think of him sometimes, because he was one of the most thoughtful, caring people I met at Bellarmine: his death was a terrible loss. I didn't bring up Mr. Suarez with my friend on the phone, but we discussed our old teachers: the aging, drugged-addled former hippie; the new teacher who had just gotten his PhD at Stanford, who was our age now when he started teaching; the passive-aggressive teacher who strangely would mention his wife's opinion as if it was trump card in any argument; and the rest of them. It would be strangely wonderful to see many of them again at the reunion, because I am curious to know how many of them have fared over the years.

I didn't attend the five-year reunion, and it's unlikely that I'll attend the ten-year reunion. I'm too neurotic for my own good, and I'm pretty sure that I'll feel like it's an unspoken pissing contest. My friend tried to argue that even if other people saw that way, I didn't need to -- that I could reject it all and just have a good time. I'd like it to be that way, but I think I'd fall into a trap of my own making, so it's probably better that I just forget it.

Perhaps I'm less like that ridiculous nerd I was back in the day... (hey, I know I'm still a nerd ... just slightly less ridiculous), but I dread that I'll revert into the overly uptight kid I used to see in the mirror. Is he still lurking somewhere, under the surface?

Current Location: Arlington, Virginia
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: The Decemberists - Of Angels and Angles

University of Michigan campus

Taken on 3 May 2008 in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Current Location: Washington, DC

Recall that Presidente Bush (he who habla the español) claimed that he gave up golf to honor the troops? Oh yeah, he's a big ol' liar. Sources suggest that he actually gave up golf because of his bad knee. Whatever the reason, his ridiculous claims of solidarity ring even more hollow.

Current Location: Washington, DC
Current Mood: pensive

How much can a person change over time? Over days, weeks, years, months, decades, can a person become something fundamentally different from who (or what) they were in the past? Can you (or better yet, should you) escape from the person you were?

I ask myself these questions, because I wonder how much I've truly changed from the kid I was back in second grade, starting at a new school. At the first parent-teacher conference of the year, Mrs. Anderson told my parents that I tended to look down when speaking with other people, that I lacked self-confidence. She was right. That was who I was, and I wonder how much of that description still describes me.

It took me years (...not an exaggeration) to be able to look a stranger in the eye when talking to him or her. I had to consciously tell myself to do it, which perhaps sounds bizarre to you. I don't think it's a problem anymore: friends made in college and in the years after probably have never noticed, because the problem rarely occurs anymore. (You can correct me if I'm wrong.)

So, I've outgrown some of what I was ... or, is that simply a wish? Have I just learned to mask it better? I don't know if there's an answer out there, but I felt like asking you, dear reader, for your thoughts on the matter. Care to share?

Current Location: Washington, DC
Current Mood: mellow

I don't want to add too much to anti-Bush discussion abounding the Internets, because let's face it: there's not much left to say really. Or, so I thought until I read this:

From The Huffington Post, which quotes Politico/Yahoo: Bush: I Gave Up Golf For The Troops

As violence in Iraq continues -- clashes today left 11 dead and 19 injured -- President Bush has for the first time revealed the great sacrifice he's made for the sake of our soldiers: he's given up golf.

From an interview with Politico and Yahoo News:

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf," he said. "I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal."

Bush said he made that decision after the August 2003 bombing of the United Nations headquarters in Baghdad, which killed Sergio Vieira de Mello, the top U.N. official in Iraq and the organization's high commissioner for human rights.

"I remember when de Mello, who was at the U.N., got killed in Baghdad as a result of these murderers taking this good man's life," he said. "I was playing golf -- I think I was in central Texas -- and they pulled me off the golf course and I said, 'It's just not worth it anymore to do.'"

I was going to say that Bush was delusional, but that's a known given at this point. Then again, this is the man who told us to sacrifice by shopping 'til we dropped. Thanks so much for the good times, Jorge!

Current Location: Washington, DC

Arlington National Cemetery

...pro patria mori.

Taken on 29 March 2008 in Arlington, Virginia.

Current Location: Washington, DC

I know I've been inactive on this blog since leaving India, and I think I needed to be for awhile. The readjustment to life in America is still on-going, but I think I'm ready to reengage with the blog. I can't leave this thing behind, after so many years. The blog and I have hit our seven-year itch, and I've realized that a divorce is not in order. I don't know if anyone even bothers to read this anymore, but at least for me, the blog's a place I will be visiting more often once again.

Edit: So the Pope's in Washington, though I think he might have recently left for New York. Sorry, Pope fans, I don't have the latest word on his itinerary. Being a non-Catholic, non-Christian, I felt slightly out of place standing next to the fervent Catholic mob on Penn Ave, though there were plenty of "celebrity" spotters like me. I ended up having dinner with a few people the same day, and someone brought up an interesting point: since when did we all start liking the Pope? Wasn't Cardinal Ratzinger a somewhat unpopular choice at the start of his ... er, umm... term of office?

Regardless, it was pretty cool to see such deep faith in action: people were singing, cheering, waving their arms as the Pope passed by in his little white Popemobile. I'm glad that I had the chance to witness the moment.


Pope Benedict XVI on Penn Ave
In his Popemobile, in front of the IFC building

Taken on 16 April 2008 in Washington, District of Columbia.

Current Location: Washington, DC
Current Mood: calm

I arrived back in the Bay Area a week ago, after a year and a half (...actually a little more than) in India. It's so incredibly strange and wonderful to be at home, having my parents take care of me. It's amazing what kinds of things lead to reverse-culture shock: 24-hour power, washing machines, and so and so forth. I spent about 24 hours in London when returning, and I realized how accustomed I had become to India: I looked in the correct direction when crossing the road without thinking about it.

I have a habit of saying good-bye to things, to places. Not just a mental farewell ... I usually end up whispering goodbye to places where I've spent a great deal of time: the office, a favorite restaurant, my room. I'm not entirely certain that it's a strange habit, but I'm usually too embarrassed to do it in front of other people, so odds are that you've never seen me say farewell to a bathroom. Well, let me assure you that, yes, I have said goodbye to a bathroom.

A good friend from Berkeley asked me the other day, as we were wandering around Market Street in San Francisco, if I experienced any great epiphanies while in India. At first, I was about to deny that anything close to profound or insightful had passed through my mind while I was in India, but I caught myself. Amongst other things, I realized to what extent I can accommodate myself to a culture, and how much I am a product of my upbringing. I realized that I am pretty flexible, but certain norms will always kind of important to me. For example, I hate when people cut in queues (sorry, the British-isms/Indian-isms will diminish with time), and it was something I had to deal with constantly in India. I realized to what extent I could think of myself as Indian and to what extent I felt American: it became quite apparent that I am pretty American. Yes, I already speak one Indian language, and I learned enough Hindi to survive (barely). (I consider my Hindi skills to be pretty poor, but I'm still proud of the gains I made with the language, because I hardly knew more than two or three words of Hindi before arriving in India.) I grew up with throughly Indian parents, but in the deepest sense, I am most throughly connected to my American-ness.

I will miss all the friends I made in India, and I will miss all the fantastic traveling options I had while in South Asia. Still, I am so happy to be back in the motherland. Farewell India. Hello America.

Current Location: Pleasanton, California, USA

Making ant chutney
Ingredients: Green chillies, ginger, garlic, salt, forest tomatoes, and of course red ants and ant eggs

Taken on 4 January 2008 near Chitrakote Falls, Chhattisgarh, India.

Current Location: Secunderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India

In a few hours, it'll be my birthday. It's been awhile since I've seriously updated my blog, and for anyone who still happens to be reading this, I do apologize. I will try to be better in 2008, because despite my apparent lack of updating, this blog still means something to me ... even in its seventh year.

I am about to leave my job here in India, one that I've held for the past year and a half. I had been expecting to return to the States after this, but it seems like I will be staying in South Asia. I've decided to accept a job with the IFC in Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. The position is for a year: we'll see what happens after a year.

It's been an incredibly difficult choice to stay abroad. I am eager to return, because I miss my parents and friends back home, which even after so much time abroad I still define as America. I'm really a bit down about not returning to the States, but I will be coming to the States for about a month soon. I'll keep you updated about that, of course.

I miss you all, and I hope to see you soon.

Current Location: Secunderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India

At the Jama Masjid, Old Delhi
Theresa's gnome visits the largest mosque of India, the Jama Masjid.

Taken on 15 December, 2007 in Old Delhi, India.

Current Location: Secunderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India

Nek Chand's Rock Garden
In Chandigarh, India

Taken on 16 December 2007 in Chandigarh, India.

Current Location: Secunderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India

I am flying to Delhi tomorrow night for a job interview on Wednesday. Please spare a good thought for me.

Current Location: Secunderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India

Inside Amber Fort, Jaipur

Taken on 22 November 2007 in Jaipur, Rajasthan, India.

Current Location: Secunderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India
Current Mood: awake

It's almost election time in the state of Gujarat, in northwestern India. Gujarat is the land of Mahatma Gandhi's birth. It is where alcohol and meat are often shunned. This is the land of the naked Jains, who in their deep piety, refuse the violence involved in the creation of cloth.

Sadly, Gujarat is the land of something much darker, something that delights in the haunting screams of the dying. In 2002, the Bhartiya Janata Party (Indian People Party) and its fundamentalist-fascist allies instigated a pogrom against the Muslims of Gujarat. Approximately one thousand people were butchered, with the police mysteriously unable to act for three days. Recently unearthed evidence points directly to state support for these deaths.

The deaths of those people lead shortly after not to the electoral defeat but to the return of the BJP government in Gujarat. Now, again the time comes for another election, and again comes the sickening anti-Muslim rhetoric. Muslim Indians are not to be trusted, for their loyalty lies with that dark snake-pit known as Pakistan. Muslims are unclean and ignorant; they have too many children, trying to turn India into a Muslim majority nation. Unfortunately, these lines even resonate in a state with a minuscule Muslim population, for Gujarat is overwhelmingly Hindu.

Gandhi believed that the path to defeating the British Raj lay in non-violent, active disobedience and unity amongst India's many peoples. The Indian state stumbles on, somewhat in disarray from the heady days following Independence. Yet, does the fabled tolerance of India live on?

It seems likely that the BJP will be re-elected once again, partly on the basis of Gujarat's stellar economic performance. Yet, the silence is deafening. When those who must surely know better remain silent in the face of unbearable horror, what is there left to believe in?

Current Location: Secunderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India
Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: The Shins - New Slang

Bibi-Ka-Maqbara, Aurangabad
The city aims really weak flood lights at this "poor man's Taj Mahal" at night. Emperor Aurangzeb's wife is buried inside. This shot took 15 seconds of exposure.

Emperor Aurangzeb's father (Shah Jahan) built the Taj Mahal for his wife. Aurangzeb's son (Shah Jahan's grandson) built this to honor his mother. After Aurangzeb's reign, the Mughal Empire began its decline as its enemies and competitor states grew more powerful and its own subjects grew restive under the strict interpretation of Sharia imposed on a majority non-Muslim population by Aurangzeb.

The Bibi Ka Maqbara signals the decline: it is obviously modeled on the Taj, but lacks the Taj Mahal's scale, scope, and extravagance. Some part of this scaling down might have been by choice, as the Mughal emperors around this time period became more austere in wake of Aurangzeb's more conservative interpretation of Islam. Yet, by the time of Azam Shah, Aurangzeb's son, the Mughal Empire lacked the resources, central authority, and power of an earlier period under Emperors Akbar.

Taken on 3 November 2007 in Aurangabad, Maharashtra, India.

Current Location: Secunderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India
Current Mood: blank

Ellora Caves: Vishwakarma Cave (Cave 10)

Taken on 3 November 2007 in Ellora, Maharashtra, India.

Current Location: Secunderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India
Current Mood: sad